Ministry in general

For most of my life, I have been involved in some kind of ministry whether it be full-time temporary missionary/volunteer work or simply helping out here or there. At this point in my life, I am a non-religious job working full-time and helping out at my local parish once or twice a week - I regularly help with ministry directed to teens. I've always felt called to ministry, and have done short-term international missions and long-term domestic ministry. It's interesting - here, in Canada, most people have all of their temporal needs met: food, shelter, even education, but the state of the souls of most is terrible! In contrast, in many impoverished countries, most do not have remotely adequate food, shelter or education available for the average citizen, but their souls are rich!

The general state of Canada's people in terms of holiness or any grasp of God or the importance of knowing Him is nearly dead - it is ruled by an attitude of indifference, for the most part labeled as tolerance. While tolerance is important, it is not a way of life. The people of this country have heard of God and Jesus but most do not look deeper than the name or the face of the faith as they see it portrayed. Rarely does anyone bother to delve into the question of "who is Christ?" or "who is God, and what does he want?" and honestly seek answers. It seems that most often, they think about it and come to their own conclusions, thinking that their portrayal of God must be more accurate than that of another - of course this only leads them to belief in their own fabricated god who may or may not possess characteristics of the One True God.

I have not seen enough of faith-filled impoverished nations since I have been older than 13 to really say much about them, but I will take for example Haiti. Haiti had a very strong earthquake in 2010 and hundreds of thousands were killed, injured and made homeless - in Canada, I think the reaction of the people would be to whine and mope and feel sorry for themselves because they've lost everything they had accumulated - all of their possessions. But in Haiti, the apparently unified reaction of the people was to praise God and pray! They didn't curse God, they didn't feel sorry for themselves or seem to stay sad because they understand that their life is not meant to be ruled by the material things of this world, but that they were created to love and honor God! My opinion is that these people, who are "worse off" than most Canadians, Americans, and citizens of other wealthy countries, are in effect better off because of the understanding they have of life. They are not burdened or distracted by petty things as we are in this country.

This leads me to the conclusion that Canada needs missionaries more than "impoverished nations", because we have grown lukewarm, to put it politely. I am in no way saying that sending temporal aid to countries where they do not have adequate food etc is a bad thing. On the contrary! We are called to look after our brothers and sisters, and all of humanity is a very big family, and we who have more should help those who have less. I do believe, however, that our society has too many unnecessary things - iPods, racecars, televisions all over the house with any and every kind of show you can imagine. We are led away and distracted from our purpose by so many things, and we forget that we have responsibilities to others and especially our souls. I am not saying that if you have an iPod or like racecars or watch TV that you're going to hell. In no way do I intend for that to be understood by what I am saying. There is nothing wrong with entertainment or relaxing, provided that it is done in moderation and it is not done instead of the work we are called to do.

Those of us who will be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven will have our rest and reward there! Seeking a life of peace and relaxation is good in the sense that our souls long for rest, but it is important to keep in mind that true rest and peace comes from God only, and that we are not called to a life of rest, that we are not born into a life where we can see the world and it's state and leave it be to go relax and enjoy our life.

All that to say that I am torn between dedicating myself to domestic ministry which would be more directed to the redirection and reparation of souls than international missions which would be more so temporal aid than ministry to the soul, though both directions would be involved. Both ministries are excellent and needed. Both ministries would bring me fulfillment. International temporal (humanitarian, primarily) missions would be easier for me - I find it easy to pick up and go and help people in a tangible, physical way. Ministering locally is more difficult and I find it stressful - it seems more like toiling to me than other types of ministry.

I suppose that is where I am stuck - I am not sure where God is calling me, and I certainly feel like I am at a crossroads where I need to make a decision, but I am also 21 and I don't think I should feel rushed... I love God with all that I am and want His will above all. If only He would let me know what it was, I would run to it and choose to do it joyfully. Until then, I feel like I'm walking in circles through mud. I will continue to trust in God and pray for some direction, hoping that opportunities will come up where I will say without a doubt "Yes, that is God's will for me, for it resonates with my soul".